INTIMACY TALKS

These notes are taken from our amazingly informative talks with Isabel White, a psychosexual therapist and cancer care nurse. If you haven't seen the talks head over to LoveRose Talks to watch! And feel free to contact us with any questions you have- we will do our best to get them answered or put you in touch with the right source of information!

STRATEGIES TO TACKLE LOW SEXUAL DESIRE

Date Nights: Regular couple time each week; minimise interruptions; focus on self & partner NOT wider family, friends, work issues
Shared responsibility for ensuring date nights happen (can help address desire differences between you & your partner)
Low demand & graduated sensual, erotic, sexual behaviours
Couple communication strategies: negotiation of acceptable or off limit behaviours & preferred sexual frequency
Sensate Focus: a strategy used commonly in sex therapy; Individualised and negotiated for you & your partner
Understand Mistakes, Arguments to enhance understanding between you & your partner

STRATEGIES TO TACKLE BODY CONFIDENCE

You may be grieving the loss of the “pre-cancer” body: this takes time & support
Consider what you value about yourself & each other?
Re-establish a relationship with your current (perhaps changed) body in the “spirit of kindness / forgiveness”
What helped you feel body confident before? Clothes? Make-up? Touch? Partner / Friends feedback? Other?
How could you re-connect with that? Exercise? Dance? Mutual Touch? Playfulness? Sensual Activities (Solo & Together)?
Self-care strategies: nutrition, complementary therapies, massage, relaxation, build emotional resilience, develop body presentation skills & strategies

PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS FOR SEXUAL PAIN

Vaginal health strategies reduce / remove pain triggers: moisturisers, lubes, dilators, vibrators
Sexual Positions Advice: Woman on top position, greater control over penetration & movement; side-lying / spooning-male partner behind), use “Ohnut” device
Self graduated exposure to vaginal sensation, touch, insertion (fingers, partner fingers, tampon applicators, dilators, vibrators)
Kegel Exercises (Pelvic Floor) / Pelvic floor Physiotherapy if evidence of increased pelvic floor tone / vaginal entrance tension/ pain (increased awareness of tension / tone in “PC” muscle)
Sensate Focus: initial intercourse ban; helps feelings of arousal without fear of I/Course; gradually progress from non-penetrative behaviours to penetrative sex (if possible / desirable)